Update to previous entry: making the directive scanner consume newlines breaks absolutely everything. Have implemented a disgusting kluge (decrement line counter before calling the printer) instead. This works.
The ancient stove in this house has decided that its right front burner will not light unless a match is applied. If you just turn it on, it floods the area with gas which then explodes, setting fire to the house. Well, I assume that's what would happen, so far I have managed to catch it in time.
A few hours' driving around in Oakland found me an appliance store with a Wise Old Mechanic who managed to locate and order me a replacement burner for only $50. I was tempted to buy a whole new stove, but I doubt the landlord would appreciate it.