Lesson #1: I can't read movie
schedules.
I thought that
Romeo
Must Die was playing at the
Paramount
last night. It wasn't,
but we'll get to that.
It all started innocently enough. We wanted to have
some
food with
friends and see a fun movie. We had a nice dinner on
College and headed
to the theatre. We had some time before the movie so we
headed over to
Sugar Mountain.
Lesson #2: Even after 20-someodd years,
eating
bags of
sugar does bad things to your body.
So keep in mind that from this point on we were
constantly
popping
Reeses
Pieces and Jelly
Bellys and such.
We were prepared. We had food in us (some with more
alcohol
than others), and candy. We were ready to see Jet Li kick
some ass.
But what's this? It isn't playing at 7:45 as we thought.
No, its
playing at 9:30.
Lesson #3: Buy tickets ahead of
time
Ok, so we have a good hour to kill. The Boys decided to
go
to the
Playdium
and play video games for an hour. Tyla
preferred to hang out in Chapters for a while and then
retire.
Lesson #4: Quit while you're ahead. Do like
Tyla.
Tyla smart.
We had fun at the Playdium, though its no
Metreon.
blizzard
got to use skid marks on a raceway to spell his
initials, I showed some Storm
Troopers where they could put
thir silly cod pieces, and
shaver
polished his sniping skills. Oh, and it was loud
in there. We all came out with headaches. Remember the
candy?
So we're now on various levels of sugar highs, with
headaches,
off to see
Jet Li kick some ass.
But what's this? The automated teller won't sell us
tickets
for the 9:30 showing? Maybe its too new, or unrated, or
something.
No. The counter informs us that the showing is in fact
invite-only.
Awesome. So we've now spent a good 2 hours of our
lives
waiting for a movie that we aren't going to see. But we
didn't
let these 14 or 15 things going wrong deter us, heavens
no!
We bought three tickets to see Mission to
Mars. Yes, thats
right, the movie that everyone we've ever talked to said was
awful. We got into the theatre 15 minutes before the show
and
it was empty. We had our own private screening!
Now, if you've been to the large
Famous
Players theatres you
know that funny things are about to happen. Before each
showing
they have an employee (Player?) stand before the audience
and
give a little speech. So some poor schmuck had to give the
speech to just the three of us.
Brad: Hi, I'm Brad, and welcome to famous
players.
blizzard: There's only three of us, you really don't
need to
bother.
zab: Pull up a chair!
...
Brad: You know I once did this speach to a single
person.
shaver: For what movie?
Brad: Reindeer
Games.
Trio: [much laughter]
...
Brad: Ok guys, I have to give the speach now.
...... if you have any questions or comments that
aren't retarded .....
Trio: [chortle]
Brad: .... please turn them off your cell phones
and
pagers so as not to disturb your two buddies
there....
Trio: [guffaw]
At this point two more people came into the theatre!
NewPerson: How come no one else is here?
shaver: I think we're about to find out.
And you know what? The movie wasn't really all that
horrible. It
had its cheesy spots, but plenty of nice ones as well.
Trying
to fall asleep while coming down from a sugar high
was much worse.