I found the problem with my prototypes. Turns out order is important and the compiler doesn't see the definition in time to do the right thing. That plus a failure to "use strict" when testing my idea out. Duh.
In other boring news, I got a new computer (a dual athlon like raph's), a new girlfriend, and I'm looking to buy a house. Oh, and I'm going to Hawaii and Super Monkey Ball 2 is a lot of fun.
That is all.