I just had a religious experience. Well approximately religious anyway. I guess i can't hope for more, since i am approximately athiest. Let me recount it to you now, for it is very silly, and involves an ELECTRONIC SINGING TORTOISE. Or possible a turtle, i am not too clear on this point. Kind of like that Philip K. Dick story, but with singing.
Today i went for a walk. I wanted to clear my head a bit, and get a bit of exercise. It was quite hot.
I had walked for many miles, and reflected on my life so far and where i was headed, when i came across the first strange thing. It was the front garden of a seemingly ordinary home, but this garden was made of rocks, and in it was a dead tree, and on the tree were many strange ORNAMENTS, and no living thing grew there. And i thought to myself "neat", and then i thought "i wish i had brought a camera", and then i drank some electrolyte solution.
I continued on my way, walking beside the railway line. After some time, i came to the second strange thing. It was an ELECTRONIC TOILET. The door opened when i pressed a button. When i washed my hands, the toilet flushed automatically. Pleasant music played in the background. When it stopped playing, i took that as my cue to leave, for it was a self cleaning toilet.
I continued on my way. It was quite hot. I drank plenty of water, but i was feeling a little dissociated. Apparently some other guy, also called Paul, did something similar, some time ago, in a desert. Fortunately i did not go blind. Eventually i came to the city of Springvale, and this was heralded by the third strange thing, and it was as if i was in a foreign country. The third strange thing was a HOUSE WITH HORNS. And again i thought to myself "i wish i had brought a camera".
I wandered about Springvale for a time, and in something of a daze (as i had been out in the sun for several hours). Eventually i came to a shop selling many strange items, and all for a reasonable price. And while browsing about this shop, i heard a voice as of a child sing out! The voice greeted me, and proclaimed to me that it was feeling well. It then wished that i also be well. And i was filled with gladness.
From where had this voice come, with its marvelous and inspiring message? After some confusion, as there were many things in the shop, i discovered that it was the voice of the ELECTRONIC SINGING TORTOISE! I marveled muchly, for such a lovely voice to eminate from such an ungainly creature.
This is what it sang:
Hello, hello, hello, hello,
Hello, hello, how are you?
Thank you, thank you, I am fine,
And I hope that you are too.
And then it sang it again. And again. So i bought it.