Older blog entries for nullity (starting at number 10)

Crimson slain,
Punctuated though He lies;
cries His valour - of struggle and strife
And vibrant life in its primal rile

Or She may lick her paws -
staring solemnly surreal,
At the hollow madding that around her sweeps
Yet cannot leave Her body behind
And She blinks bemusedly from Her bright green soul
Or casts a deep, pure sigh

But withered to ashen age
Beneath the starched white sheets
We acquiess to a perfunctory distrophy
And are worn into a dreamless discontent

Then perish alone in a body of stolen animation
Fading a shade with every shallow glib
and hubric smile.

The travesty of our ashen eyes
were not their fallen hue
but that they would be windows to our soul.
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Its been a long time since a wrote an entry because I've been insanely busy. Exams, people, and Eazel have all taken their toll... But the good news is that everything has come together. I have a job - an internship at Eazel working under Pavel's mentorship. This is *awesome* because I really like Pavel and respect his mad skills :) So not only am I going to be able to eat and have shelter this summer, I think I'm really going to improve my own thinking and code writing.

I treated myself to "Rick's Really Rich Icecream" as a reward for getting work. That stuff is *awesome*. If you are in the Santa Clara area you just have to try it. And its right near Eazel...so...I figure I can bike there for lunch every day ;)

As far as housing I'm going to be living in Mirielees (sp?). Which is often because that particular summer residence is the more desired of the three or four available. Its also cool because I don't have to buy an expensive meal plan there, but can cook for myself. Of course the downside is that with on-campus housing you have to pay the entire cost up front. Yikes! This has meant depending on my grandparents for money (who are thankfully there or I would have lots of trouble "swinging it"). Oh well...guess I don't "get" to be 100% financially independent yet :-) I can think of much worse things in life ;-)

I'm also finally getting a bike. Cool beans. Of course I have to acquire one for monday, which is my first day of work. I figure that if I can't get one by monday I can probably beg a ride off *somebody*. Not many people left, but enough, heh heh.

I wrote some more escape related code for Nautilus, as well as some more work getting Nautilus running under Solaris. I can't figure out what's going wrong, but the Solaris attempt is not going very well... <sigh> I'll probably try again using Helix Gnome as a base-line (I was trying to do everything from scratch). I've also "white-boarded" some ideas for an improved URI entry box in Nautilus. I think the current one doesn't cut it.

I'm tired. And I have an exam today. On saturday... That's inhumane.

School is almost out, and it looks like I might be working at Eazel over the summer. That would be awesome. But I'm too tired to get really excited right now.

In other major news, I did laundry today. I was starting to wear my "dress" clothes as my supply of shorts dwindled. You know I'm desperate when the polos are broken out! Fortunately we all know that jeans can be worn at least 3 times before you have to change :) So if you just sleep in them most of the time that adds up to a couple weeks for a single pair of jeans!!! Right.

I think I'll get 10 hours of sleep tonight to celebrate doing poorly on my complexity theory exam. Whoohoo!

Well, my father did indeed show up. He's apparently looking into working at PARC, which would indeed be interesting. Any open source companies interested in grabbing a printer architecture researcher for the good of the world? ;-)

Sleep

What is this sleep thing you speak of? I am sooooo tired at this point but too much is hapenning. please let me sleep...somebody let me sleep!!!

Hacking

Um. Er. Eh. I screwed up a gnome-vfs checkin and broke the build for a few minutes. Cry. :-(

Did some work on fixing problems with filenames etc having '#'s in them in Nautilus. It *would* be fairly easy to fix...except my build system decided to screw itself up again. Joyous! Now I can't even run Nautilus. I really want to work at Eazel now - if only so I don't have to deal with keeping my own Nautilus build tree updated ;-)

Social

Almost none. This has been crunch week for me. My dad's visiting tomorrow, which I am thrilled about - but it comes at a pretty harsh time. I mean, I have finals and that sort of thing...which leads us to-

School!

Yeesh. Long philosophy papers, abusive physics finals, not to mention the obligatory end of quarter programming projects. Whew! The end is in sight.

Yes... It has been a long time again. But things are starting to get hectic here. Really hectic. I just had a really good chance to talk with Sandra. She's really awesome... Anyway, some things are looking up and others down. I still feel isolated from almost everyone around me. This is very hard to counter. I've had a year, and I don't feel close to any of them. <sigh&rt;

Hacking

Surely you jest?!? ;-) Why yes, amidst all my panicked lack of time I've been doing some more work in Java. I want to get a really kick-ass Java-based environment going on my Palm. The processor is a little slow...I'm tempted to overclock it (which can apparently be done in software). Nothing on Nautilus. Wish I had more time.

School

WORK WORK WORK. I'm going nuts. I would be toast if it weren't for memorial day. I have a fairly long paper due on Wed, a final on Fri., etc etc. In addition to all the regular problem sets, of course. WHEW! The year is almost over.

Yes...I've been delinquent on the diary end. My life has been stressful and depressing. Yuck. I've just screwed my grade in a class by handing an assignment in massively too late. The place I'm living next year sucks. And I don't have any good friends. Yes, I'm just a wee bit depressed.

Hacking

On a slightly lighter note I've finally fixed my messed up GNOME build environment...or at least kluged it tolerably. I still have to set GNOMEDIR or things break. Oh well, I think I can live with that. I haven't had time to try re-adding my gnome-vfs changes. Last time I thought they were responsible for the mess ups - but they weren't. [whew]

More work on trying to "swap" heap data onto a large stack allocation. No luck. And there's no way a java compiler is going to be able to fit in 200k of heap. Drat. There goes that idea.

Social:

I feel incredible tension between Sandra and I...to the point that I think she's avoiding me. Oh well. I haven't decided if I should apologize or not. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I don't like the effects of what I did - if that makes any sense. Argh. Conflicting ethical systems are not fun. Period.

I didn't sleep last night - I slept from the time lecture was over until 6pm. Whew!

Search: (for a job, that is)

So I can have on-campus summer housing. This is good news. I may not have employment - but I'm not getting turned into the gutter just yet. I really need to push at getting resumes etc. out, but I'm really hoping on eazel. I mean, when there's somewhere you really want to work and the jury's still out...its hard to garner momentuum. Oh well - I must!

Just started work porting a Java compiler over to my palm. Sun has written a JVM for the Palm that works surprisingly well....and being a bored little student I decided that it needs a companion Java compiler. I'm working from KJC, but need to shift more of its heap requirements over to a faked stack. The JVM (maybe its the palm?...probably) has a heap limit of 250k (!!!).

Not much work on Nautilus, other than some soliciting of information on what forms exotic links might take.

Sleep

Well I'm not asleep yet. I'll probably get 5 hours tonight, because I have to get up at 9:30am :-( [Great, I didn't wake up...chalk up 8 hours of sleep]

Social

The party was tonight. It was awful. Sandra ended up making some serious body contact with somebody I do not like at ALL (again, and she only does this when drunk?!?). This really irks me, because we just had a conversation about social compromise, and our standards of friendship (which seem largely disjunct from the standard view here). And then here she is doing some major compromise one night later. I need to find some good solid close friends, I'm tired of social turmoil.

Its probably a bad idea, but I'm going to ask her "why?" tomorrow. Wish this poor idiot luck ;-)

Going to a dorm musical tonight. Its alleged to be bad but fun, heh.

School

You didn't really expect me to be doing school-work on a Saturday did you? (particularly not when I worked on friday night!).

Since I have -0- official power, its very hard for me to get anything done in pre-existing arenas. But to get the dragboard working the Right Way, I'm going to need to add proper symlink / URI link support to gnome-vfs. URI links should be pretty cool, but it does mean that I need to clear my plans through the proper authorities, and iron out all the problems.

Sleep

I got more than 10 hours of sleep last night. I'm a happy camper...I love Saturday!

Social

Nancy and Sandra have planned an "unbirthday" party for everyone with summer birthdays (including yours truly). The have basically forced me to come. I hate parties. Why? Because everyone gets drunk out of there mind and starts acting like morons. Its hard to participate when you're not drunk. So I'd get drunk w/ them except that I can't stand the taste of alchohol. The net effect is that I'm under excessive social strain...and they're making me go :-( Yeesh, we aren't even really friends anymore. Its to sate their sense of well-being (oh yes, the world is such a happy place). Actually I think the worst part is I feel impelled to observe the event...but it pains me to have my friends drop some in my estimation. I know that sounds stupid, but...

Also housing assignments for next year have been posted. I can't check mine because the server is swamped, but I suspect my drawgroup (and hence I) are in Toyon (THEIR first pick). I was really hoping we wouldn't make it, but according to the online statistics we almost certainly did :-(

School

Boring boring week. I failed to finish my Physics homework. Oh well, guess my grade will be entirely determined by the final exam.