/usr/local/bin/gtk-shell --label "Mozilla is loading, just wait a minute..." --button "OK" &
It's not perfect, I'll concede that. There's still no flashy graphic of a marauding lizard. But it serves its purpose: to occupy the user's attention for 45 seconds while Mozilla loads. Their instinct will be to move the mouse and click on the "OK" button, just to send the window away.
Even though the button serves no other purpose than to close the window, it fills a very important role in the psychology of the GUI environment: it gives an impatient Microserf something to look at while the program loads.
I've polled enough of the Cafe computer users here to know that they share the misapprehension that apps launch slower on Linux. This is untrue, as anyone with a stopwatch recording launch times for Windows and Mac apps can attest. The only difference is that many Linux apps are totally lacking in application feedback, making the percieved load time much longer.
The gtk-shell splash scripts (for Netscape, Galeon and Mozilla) on the AS220 Cafe Freebox will serve the purpose for now. Maybe I'll even learn how to code a meaningless "thermometer" display (you know, like rpm -ivh only slicker) and include a rampaging Giant lizard logo.
But it would be even nicer if the mozilla -splash flag worked in the next release. Even though it may seem like window dressing, it should actually be a priority.