Salford Royal is not a cheese shop
I had to pick something up at Salford Royal's main reception desk. I walk for quite a way following signs. I reach a desk.
"Is this the main reception?"
"No, you want to go that way."
I go that way, and find a sign saying "Main Reception" pointing back the way I'd come. So I go back, and go to WHSmith's and ask for directions to the main reception, and a description of it. It is in fact the desk I found first. I return.
"Sorry," I say, "I mean I get confused easily, but people tell me this is the main reception."
"Oh no, this is car parking."
"So.. that sign behind you saying RECEPTION, that's not true?"
"Look, I told you, go that way and then down the stairs."
"Isn't that the way to Outpatients?"
"That's what you want, isn't it?
"No, I want the main reception."
But he sends me to Outpatients. Outpatients say, "Oh no, we're not the main reception, we're Outpatients."
"But the man on the main reception desk, who claimed it wasn't the main reception desk, said it was you instead."
"Oh, he's always doing that."
MAYBE HE USED TO RUN A CHEESE SHOP
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