I have a little confession to make: our family is going through a rough patch. Both my wife and I are having problems. No, not between us. And both are experiencing very different sorts of problems. But the happening-at-the-same-time complicates the one-supports-the-other thing.
And to compound to that, I have been sick.
As I sat in the waiting room at the hospital the other day, waiting for some exams, I felt like this is one of the worst times of my life. I feel tired, unmotivated, unappreciated, and generally unhappy. And fucking hopeless. That’s the worst part, I suppose.
I also have been distancing myself from friends lately. Ostensibly to avoid distractions in a time where I am having to give all and a bit more to a project I do not believe in. Truth be told, I just don’t feel like small talk but I also don’t want bring others down to my Dark Hole of Misery. And so I’m trying to keep some distance.
I feel lost. I look at my friends and how they all seem to have it all figured out already. I’m still trying to figure out who the fuck I am. I was so sure when I was younger. I was so fucking good at what I did. Now? I just don’t know anymore. I feel unhappy.
I know some people who will be So. Fucking. Happy. reading the paragraph above. This one’s for free for you guys.
But not all is bad news. I actually got some good news last night. I can’t tell the details although I know some of you know exactly what this is about. Anyway, I now have a set date for it and it’s in under six months from now.
I’m actually confident that this will make it all better somehow. Just have to wait.
Sorry for the downer, but I felt like writing something.