I spent about 4 or 5 hours looking over /usr/ports/Mk/bsd.port.mk as well as bothering some developers on efnet. Fortunately I have made some progress as to the infrastructure of the ports system. Heres what I found I need to do to bsd.port.mk:

Add test if uid is 0 then all paths change to those supplied:

PREFIX=${HOME}

MANPREFIX=${PREFIX}

WRKDIRPREFIX=${HOME}/ports

WRKDIR=${WRKDIRPREFIX}/${PORTNAME}/work

PKG_DBDIR=${HOME}/var/db/pkg/${PORTNAME}

I also plan to maybe completely use environment variables to make things well, not so static..but the above will remain as default (unless someone else things otherwise)