dhd:
First off, I want to say how much I feel for you. Knowing
only what you've posted, I cannot say I know exactly your
situation, but I believe I know similarly, and I can only
hope it gets better for you.
I don't think it is location. I spent the past three years
in Research Triangle Park, NC, where the law mandates 1/3 of
the property is trees and the buildings are no higher than
the treetops. It is, bluntly, gorgeous. It didn't
stop the corporate bullshit. It didn't keep me from being
fed up. I was still making a lot less than kids fresh out
of college and years my junior. In some ways the lack of
"city" kept me more bored and frustrated than if I'd been in
a larger area.
Now I live in Belmont, CA. It's Silly Valley alright, if
not the Valley proper. You know what? Amy and I find it
beautiful. There's some gorgeous views and walks just
outside my door. Over the hills is the ocean, and I can't
begin to tell you how I love the ocean. I spent three years
in Miami with the same affection.
You can avoid the overgrown suburbia. You can hack free
software or closed software. You can have great coworkers,
great projects, and still be unhappy. If I knew the answer,
I'd make a billion writing the book. Had I less morals, I'd
write a book anyway, and maybe make those billions with no
real answer :-)
I'd guess a change is in order. The move out here did
wonders for me. The new job and new location are making me
very happy. I can only hope something does the same for
you.