Older blog entries for harrisj (starting at number 26)

Listening to loud industrial (VNV Nation & Assemblage 23 right now) here at work. Seems rather appropriate for the moment for some reason. Mix in some odd German electronic music and you have a typical Jakemusic set for work. People used to cringe at the SIPB office whenever I headed for the stereo with a disc in my hand...

I think that many people are correct, in that technology is fun, but it's not a life in itself. I think too many in this industry work too long for no good reason. Perhaps a dream of future wealth that maybe comes through, but maybe results in making lots of money for other people and burning out by the age of 30. Perhaps a general fear of life outside of work, with all those things outside of your control. Perhaps just a sheer inertia or peer pressure. All I know is that you have to take control of your life, if you want it to turn out the way you want. You can't predict the future, and you can't avoid mistakes. But you can't just hope that things will get better, and wake up one day feeling it's too late.

Programming should be your job. It shouldn't be your life.

The masochistic pride in this life has always disgusted me. Nerds complain about being marginalized by society, but it's always struck me how much of this marginalization is self-inflicted. I was always depressed by students in school who were horrified they had to take humanities classes. Who couldn't talk about anything besides their narrow areas of interest, especially to people outside their small circles. Who would be on the computer constantly when they weren't sleeping. Who now are probably living the same life as 4 years ago, and will still be the same in 20.

Get out. Go to a museum. Read a real work of literature. Write music. Paint, sculpt, blow glass even. Walk around. Most important, talk to people. Broaden your horizons and connect. The machines can wait. Perhaps you could make a movement out of this. I think that might be what TechnoRealism was supposed to be, before it dissolved into vapor.

Sorry if I offended you. I'm just a ranting old coot anyway...

6 Sep 2000 (updated 6 Sep 2000 at 15:15 UTC) »

Was thinking about squiggy's diary entry. It's an unfortunately common problem in America. We work hard to get to a place, only to find out that we're not too happy with it, once we make it there. I think Squiggy has the right idea though. Rather than launch into a Midlife Crisis in an attempt to follow paths not taken (in essence, a frantic effort to relive your life differently), I think it's better to become more comfortable where you are. To be perfectly aware of the moment. To stop and look at the sky (or smell the roses), instead of thinking about other projects and racing to work.

It's a Zen thing. Nirvana is not a state of blissful isolation, but a harmony with the world around you. A dissolving of self into the universe, such that there are no dualisms, no distinctions, just existence in the moment. (Nerds can also think of it as a Yoda thing: "Always rushing off, never thinking of where he is, what he is doing!")

I'm not sure why this happens in America. I suppose it could be the promise of the American Dream. Maybe it's the Puritan Work Ethic, driving us to keep working and not relaxing. Of course, we're one of the few nations where people can actually contemplate our lives being different and make it happen. In the third world, if you're born a rice farmer, you die a rice farmer. Something may seem radically important to you, but 20 million Chinese don't give a damn. While we have more options, they can be overwhelming at time. As Devo said, "Freedom of choice is what you've got. Freedom from choice is what you want."

I went to the Barneys Warehouse Sale this weekend and got a new suit (normally $800, only $140). Black pinstripe. I've gotten more into dressing nicely for work lately. Even ties sometimes. I think it's largely a reaction to the normally predictable fashion sense of developers (jeans and a free T shirt from a trade show). Plus, good clothes can be comfortable and give you a certain confidence. It's true. The clothes do make the man.

In some ways, it's a lot like Rasterman wearing Victorian outfits while he was a Red Hat. I do try to look nice, and I do try to look different, but not in a way that makes me look like I'm from sales or other pointy-haired-boss material. More like a trendy Village hipster I suppose. Luckily, Manhattan can be a decent city to find good and distinctive clothes in. Sure, the thrift stores are mostly crap (because everybody goes there), and some of the vintage places suck, but you can also find huge clearances and such on downright new clothes. Century 21, warehouse sales, Daffys, etc. are great sources for nice clothes for really cheap.

Surprising but true. The last few evenings I have had ICMP monitoring software running on my machines at home checking to see if any script kiddies were scanning me. Not a single ping. No firewall, so unless the wireless base station is blocking pings, it seems that there aren't as many 3L33T HaXoR kids out there as the media seems to believe. (Yes, I too can write like Biff...)

Otherwise, it's Friday before Labor Day. The city is starting to empty out already. It can be downright eerie walking through New York early in the morning on summer holiday weekends. Still, it's great if you're going to brunch or any other activities, since the crowds are much more manageable.

Rasmus, you're correct about our similar setups. In my case, it's an Apple Airport basestation that is connected to the ADSL modem. This in turn talks to Farallon SkyLine PCMCIA 2mb cards in both a Powerbook G3 (running MacOS and LinuxPPC), and my SO's Windows95 laptop. I need to figure out how to get LinuxPPC to support the card, but I might just instead play with MacOSX Beta in 2 weeks instead. I don't have a firewall in place yet, so I should scan me some ports now to make sure everything is locked down security wise. :)

802.11 wireless networking is pretty cool. It's nice to not have to run wires.

Otherwise, nothing much new. I am a bit concerned about the GPL revision thread (aka "License to Kill"), but am not coherent enough to really post an argument. In brief, the problems I have:

  1. I'm not sure it can be legally watertight (unless you want to pass UCITA I suppose).
  2. It is meant to have a chilling effect of lawsuits and patent infrigement suits. While I agree that most of these are bad, it can also discourage potentially legitimate cases.
  3. It can discourage the spread of free software, since its use would entail the surrender of certain rights and priveleges. How many businesses will agree to that?
  4. Where do you draw the line on enforcement? Someone else has pointed out that the production houses are parts of studios, which are parts of the MPAA, and thus have no real input on the lawsuit. Should they be penalized?
  5. Who actually evaluates transgressions of this license and launches the lawsuit?
  6. It seems pretty small-minded.

Ah well. What do I know? Good principle, but it just seems as scary to me as UCITA.

Got the DSL modem installed this morning. It's radically faster than dialup (yippee!!!). Now I just have to configure the wireless network to use the DSL connection and I'm all set. Covad and Concentric have been most helpful so far. Now I just have to see how well it works.

It's been pretty busy since I got back from vacation. Code seems to be breaking, just to remind me of the existence of Murphy's Law. Rather irritating for me.

At least my Digital Underground order came in today. New weird German electronic bands to listen to. Yay. That and the spooky ambience of Halo_gen is keeping me going.

Found Joachims' SVMLight, which has been rather illuminating...

Support Vector Machines are interesting, but rather difficult to comprehend. I wish I could remember more Linear Algebra and such...

Got a ThinkGeek order in today. The Swiss Army Knife Cybertool is pretty sweet...

It's not a good day so far. I hate it when old problems seem to recur...

Beautiful people everywhere. The way they comb their hair!

Listening to a Devo anthology while I code. It's taking me way back to the early 80s.

Otherwise, not much new to report. I am finally recovered from the jetlag and am ready to tackle some of the bigger problems here at work.

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