22 Apr 2001 hacker   » (Master)

Long Time No Post

    How much more of my life is going to implode before I do?

    truck: dead

    gnu-designs: monthy hosting charges just doubled, struggling to hold it up on my own

    erika: lots and lots of pain, must fix, CV done, moving forward, don't let go

    work: [CENSORED]

    health: lost too much weight, no energy, deteriorating, rationing meals, sleep erratic, more headaches followed by bloody noses, waif

    code: what? completely different language to me now, it's like Latin, parts of the words look similar, but the whole sentence doesn't make sense

    money: I haven't seen it in so long, I forgot what it looks like, still haven't done my taxes, Pfizer screwed me on my vacation pay, gnu-designs.com nailed me on business taxes, may have to cash out 401k just to survive

    friends: who?

    hardware: laptop_1: LCD dead, laptop_2: pcmcia slot dead, home server: dead, year-old Hitachi 21" monitor: dead

    condo: white, white prison walls on all sides, no furniture, huge empty overly-expensive prison, trapped, suffocating

    Now I've had to let go of two of my employees at gnu-designs. Relegated them back to normal users. If people are tasked with keeping up with billing our customers, and don't... for over a year... what do you do?

    I've been footing the bill for their (ab)use of the server, and received nothing in return, except a bill from the provider for bandwidth usage. Meanwhile these two employees get paid directly by customers in cash for their "design" of the customer sites. Not exactly a fair relationship.

    gone.

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