11 Apr 2005 grey   » (Journeyer)

Monday. New Order's song "Blue Monday" I will dig up later today, the title is apropos.

I am having a really really hard time coming up with anything positive that I did today, so all the more reason to do it since this can be part of what I accomplished postively - just wrote. Yesterday went to the beach with the kids, had a lot of fun. I was feeling really tense in my shoulders and did some stretching exercises. It was nice to walk on the rocks and feel the sand and seaweed beneath my feet along with the feel of the large stones/rocks I walked along.

Not to focus on the negative but I slipped on a rock, fell flat on my ass and banged up my tailbone rather good. This morning it feels a little better, but unfortunately a wave crashed on me right afterwards and trashed my new cell phone from work.

I'm getting my ass kicked in the game of life, literally right now with that event. I'm working on patience, right now. And fortitude, that I won't give up on my hardships but rather carry on and work to resolve them.

Leaether Strip albums have been great to hear the same agony and agression I'm feeling, but let's me get through some of it non destructively. I am working to come out of this intact, I do not want to live a life filled with resentment and anger, so using outlets to express those non-destructively is helpful. I think I will get a punching bag. I think it's time to get some creative juices flowing again, write some music, paint, program, whatever.

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