unauthorized public exhibition
I just had the extremely fun experience of having a private large screen movie showing, with a small group of friends, in an empty art studio. Lots of fun - Andrei is involved with the Art Student's Union, and so got his hands on a digital projector (nice!) and a VCR and sound setup. We pulled all the couches in the studio together and had our own little movie theater going.

Tommorow or sunday, I hope to convince someone to drag their machine up their to watch some old demos, one of my big computer-dreams from being 15 years old that hasn't been realized yet.

will produce valueless streams of abstract symbols for money
I'm still looking for a job. Most of my finals are over now and I can invest more energy into the search. I think I'll likely end up in a crappy job this summmer, though, simply because I have no faith in myself.

I spent all of last year in a hypershitty shift-work job last year, getting paid crap, working crap hours, and never seeing my friends. I promised myself that this year, I would go looking for a real job, in my own field, where I'd be doing good work. But I'm shy and very wary(scared?) of new things and tend to undervalue my own skills. So I'll probably end up flipping burgers or something.

I have a friend who doesn't know much more than how to spell "html" and "unix", but he's the best shit-talker in the world. He's got himself a job maintaing a website for the government, and he's gotten other great jobs before. Same age as me, and less dedicated (to the work). But he knows how to talk, what to put on a resume; he has the balls to get away with it.

It's sad .. i'm semi-anonymously telling people I likely don't know that I have no balls.

Hmm. Time to stop whining about myself.

you can hold out
   forever
even walls
   fall
      down