My employer really does suck sometimes. Or at least certain parts of it do.

A few months ago we started hearing rumours that their Cambridge office (from which I nominally work, when I'm actually in the country) was going to close. It's kind of been on the cards for a while, since there's only a few people working there and it's very expensive to maintain -- but after they had building work done recently and we were explicitly told that there were no plans to close it, we did sort of think it would probably last until their 10-year lease was up, in 2011.

But then we started hearing these rumours of imminent closure -- dates on which the IS folks were due to shut down the systems for the final time, etc. There were various dates, most of which are in the past now. But the rumours were persistent enough that I approached my manager and asked about it. He knew nothing. A few weeks and a few more rumours later, I approached the HR department too. They also knew nothing, but promised to look into it and get back to me within two weeks.

Almost a month later, after being chased up at least once, the HR lady finally admitted to having some information.... but actually refused to pass it on!. Instead, she insisted on flying to Cambridge a week after that for a meeting... when I was in Belgium.

Ever since then, she's been refusing to just send email like any normal person would. I'd let her use the phone if she really insisted, although I'd much prefer email -- but so far she's failed to schedule a time for the call when all three necessary parties (including my manager) can be present.

I hear more rumours (all I know at this stage is rumours) that they've sent out snail mail... which is impressive of them, since I was scheduled to be in Asia for the whole of the month. The archaic practice of making marks on a piece of mashed tree and physically transporting it to my house doesn't really work very well when I'm a third of the way round the globe.

I really don't understand why they can't just send me an email. You know -- the primary communication method of everyone in the company, and in fact most of the western world these days. Even my father can handle email; at least on a good day.

So far, it's been over a month since she first said that she has information, but refuses to pass it on. The only thing I have directly from her is "nothing will happen this month or next". The current rumoured closure date is October 1st :)

[Final sentence was once redacted, due to an excessive overreaction on the part of the people responsible for the above fiasco. But since they've been telling people that I've been making 'death threats', I figured I should put it back again to set the record straight. It really is just a figure of speech, which is in frequent use in the company in both internal and external communication:]

I swear, some people should just be taken out back and quietly shot. But instead they come and work in our HR and IS departments.