Older blog entries for cael (starting at number 62)

i want something, i want everything, i want nothing, nothing else, i want someone, not just anyone, be my hero .

at eazel, where i have been since mjs, yakk, and i were awakened by a phone call from don saying we need to be at work. that was 12 hours ago. we had gotten 5 hours of sleep. fun.

went out to a goth club called shrine of lilith in sf last night with mjs, yakk, and stephane. no man ray but it's a start. and maciej says that sf has a really good goth scene so i am excited about that.

been working on the preferences code in nautilus. managed to get the dialog geometery problems fixed so that it is always the right size and what not.

new cd: the world that summer by death in june

i'm the same as i was when i was 6 years old, and oh my god i feel so damn old, i don't really feel anything.

so it would appear that i am now 20. wonder how that happened ;-) anyway went to pepper's place for an australian day/going away party as he and his wife are moving to atlanta. got a bit drunk and had some strange alchohol. much fun for all.

started to work on nautilus for real. suprisingly sensible codebase for a project this big, i think i am really going to like working with it, especially nice cause at the moment i don't have any assigned tasks so i can just fix whatever looks like fun.

i am homeless still. staying at yakk and eli's place for the moment but i am being kicked out on sunday. finding temporary housing in the bay area seems to be near impossible.

capitalism is indeed organized crime and we're all victims.

i'm in seattle waiting till noon tomorrow to leave for san fransisco for 4 more months of work, this time at eazel.

saw my grandfather one last time before i leave. i am really glad that i got to see him so much this time. i am always worried that is won't see him again, cause i am home so rarely.

new cd's: a love supreme by john coltrane, engine takes to the water by june of 44, winners never quit by pedro the lion, and the shape of punk to come by refused.

however long i stay, i will always love you.

Iain: without sounding condescending, i totally understand what you mean.

it's like, you want to want to be with someone, it doesn't matter if you're ever with them, it's just having someone that you're trying to be with makes life worthwhile in a way.

of course, then again, maybe that's just me. oh, and it *does* matter if you're ever with them, it just doesn't matter to the feeling of pursuing someone you care about.

either way, it made me think.

and you think you've figured out everything, i think i know my geometry pretty damn well.

i've been home from belgium for two weeks now, just hanging out and playing guitar and stuff, watching very bad movies.

still no co-op.

saw save the last dance, pretty good. not great, but enjoyable.

new years eve was very cool. i was in the middle of the grand place in brussels surrounded by thousands of crazy people all setting off fireworks and running around and stuff.

new cd's: chiastic slide by autechre, anima animus by the creatures, elephant shoe by arab strap, the remix ep by isotope 217, 1000 hurts on vinyl by shellac, sketches of spain by miles davis, sedatif en frequences et sillons by fly pan am, and the unstable molecule by isotope 217.

i don't care whether you hear this, i don't care if I'm alone here singing songs to myself.

i am writing this from belgium, which is very difficult because they don't have qwerty keyboards here.

so godspeed you black emperor! is playing here in february and karate is playing in march, so of course i am here in december.

belgium is very cool, even though i don't know any french.

so far the most interesting thing i think has been the comic museum and the general acceptedness of comics here. also the ammount of jazz clubs.

new cd's: swansong for you by the gentle waves, goodbye enemy airship the landlord is dead by do make say think, and musicality by salako

and if you think you see with just your eyes you're mad.

3 hours till i leave for belgium. fun fun fun. ;-)

new cd: music for egon schiele by rachel's.

...

bored. bored. bored. very very bored.

i have come to the conclusion that my life is just not interesting right now. shocker i know ;-).

saw my grandfather tonight. it is always hard to see him cause i don't know when the last time will be, especially cause i am gone so much.

i leave for belgium in 28 hours. sleeeeeeeeeeep.

and you can't understand why all the other boys are going for the new, tall, elegant rich kids, i'll admit it is a bitch, kid

home again. nice but boring, as usual. still it is neet to have food around and to get some sleep without people shouting around you.

it does feel quite nice to be done with my term.

have discovered the impossibility of finding most of the music i want at stores around here. very frustrating.

still no co-op. the interesting bit about the vagueness has worn off.

i leave for belgium on monday. as always i am half excited to go and half feeling like i can't be bothered. i should enjoy it though.

new cd's: five leaves left by nick drake, oxygene by jean- michel jarre, legal man (on vinyl) by belle and sebastian, giant steps by john coltrane, and live at the village vanguard by john coltrane

la, la lune est libre je crois, qui rayonne au-dessus, rayonne au-d'sus des toits.

been busy finishing up the term which ends on wednesday and preparing to move all my stuff again.

fixed an interesting bug in nautilus, it is very nice to be coding again. ;-)

been listening to massive amounts of the new godspeed you black emperor! album, need to get the fly pan am album when i get home to seattle.

i go home to seattle for break on thursday, i leave for belgium a week later for a family vacation, i get back and two days later i am supposed to leave for co-op but i still don't know where i am going. life remains interestingly vague.

i have sort of been avoiding everyone and everything lately, i think i just needed a break from social stuff and some time to just read and code and sleep a lot.

new cd's: levez vos skinny fists comme antennas to heaven by godspeed you black emperor! and agaetis byrjum by sigur ros.

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