I did a terrible thing.
I am doing a terrible thing.
I didn't realize it until this weekend and that is more terrible.
They needed someone who knew Moodle. They needed someone to convert Moodle files to Common Cartridge using MoodleRooms. Easy enough. It was Moodle. I wasn't thinking about the big picture.
For the past month, I have been working in implementing a proprietary Learning Management Solution.
On the one hand, it brings technology in the classroom to students across the state. That is the good thing. On the other hand, not only am I implementing a LMS that is proprietary... but I am converting this from non proprietary.
I think the one benefit here is that I can reverse the process and know what is necessary in conversions from proprietary platforms to non proprietary and thus create documentation regarding this and move our effort forward.
I feel terrible. I was sucked into this in the first place. OMG. What have I done. What am I doing. Please don't judge me. I'm not a terrible person.
No wonder I feel so isolated in the job. I'm not doing the right thing...
It was that friendly manager. I couldn't help it. I wasn't thinking straight. I had a moment. I lost myself for a moment, literally. All I wanted was to go there again. I ... I...
If I can turn this thing around I will. I swear I will. I will have to make this right.
My goals were the opposite of what I'm doing. Intention doesn't mean shit. It's my actions. What have I done. What have I done!