Got 256M RAM for the Sparc 5 in the mail. Put it in machine, booted it. Everything checked out. Got to play with SunOS 5.6 and, whew, a whiff of the Bad Old Days.
My *BSD experience allowed me to get the network configured quickly. Worked first time. To the net!...
Uh... Hmm... No, this machine wouldn't have SSH. [Pokes around CDE] "Web Browser"? [click] JavaOne. [cogs grind in brain, distant memories twinkle] My homepage looks good, sans .png. The alt tag fills in. Let's go to Advogato and post using JO! [Curses mouse. Worst. Mouse. Ever. These ones have never worked properly for me, clean mousepad or no...] Advogato. Logs in. Bzzt. Tried again. Bzzt. Must mean no cookie support. Try mozilla.org. Page render takes upwards of five minutes. Try dillo. Page loads well, download source, switch to term and... damn. .gz. [Gears creak] Sun.com had something about GPL software being offered through there. [Sun.com page takes even longer to render - look terrible.] Much link clicking later, still didn't find it. Gives up.
God almighty that was miserable. The FD comes in a few days. Goodbye Solaris, hello OpenBSD.
Analogy: It's the Cheese Shop sketch all over again...
Palin: Ah, hello, welcome to the UNIX(TM) box!
Me: I was sitting in the basement, reading man pages when I had a peckish for a nice bit of bit bobbling.
P: Come again?
M: I'd like to do something useful.
P: Ah, well, you've come to the right place, sire. Finest UNIX of 1997!
M: I think I'll start with a little Python.
P: python: not found
M: Ah, well then perhaps a bit of Perl then...
P: perl: not found
M: Not my lucky day, is it? Perhaps some lynx then?
P: Not on Tuesday, no.
M: Tk?... Mwm?... Bash?...
P: No... No... No...
M: Oh, really? Excellent, I switch to Ctwm then.
P: Oh, sorry, I thought you were talking to me. That's my name - Mr. Ctwm.
M: xv?... ssh?... Athena?... Any web browser?...
P: We do have JavaOne, sir.
M: Ah, you do?! Excellent. Bring forth the fromage de la McNeely.
P: It's a bit slow
M: That's okay, I'll take it anyways
P: It's probably slower than you like it
M: I don't care how fscking slow it is, fetch it with all due speed...
P: Ooooooh. The cat's eaten it.
M: Has he.
P: She, sir.
M: You do have something useful, do you not?
P: Oh, Yes Sir! Stablest UNIX around!
M: Well, it's certainly free of apps to crash it.