Recent blog entries for Satan

It's been a while. Spent the time day trading and analyzing technical market trends. It seems to me that the market is ready for a new trend in service sector stocks. In anticipation of a growing market in unpleasant excess and unhappy outcomes, I've started Hell, Inc. today, as a limited-liability Delaware corporation. We've entered our first round of funding and are confident of making IPO in record time. I keep thinking there's some comment I should make about having a "rosy future" ahead.

Seth Cohn diary entry:

Satan: I have prior art on the following: death, spam, commercial airlines, puns, red kryptonite, and slaying of the first born. Get in line. Maybe we can cross license.

Check your certs, Seth. Your ass is mine. >:-)

Had a great day. Invented pus, jaywalking, name servers, venereal disease, chapped lips, lime green jello, bureaucracy, rust, time zones, no-parking zones, two well-known editors, capitalism, communism, death, kitsch, male pattern baldness, advertising, spandex, road kill, loan applications, Not Invented Here Syndrome, early CMOS, new car scent in a can, cell phone ringers, newsgroups with 'advocacy' in their names, disco music, the VAT, telomeric shortening, voice mail, spam, consumerism, boosterism, myopia, commercial airlines, skunks, porcupines, offer letters, nuclear winter, Dinah Shore, jaundice, puns, castor oil, lead poisoning, trolling, red kryptonite, metal fatigue, crack cocaine, civil asset forfeiture, hardening of the arteries, first impressions, empty water coolers, slaying of the first born, styrofoam, Graceland, pyramid schemes, client-side active content and really bad food.

The patent office opens at 9am. >:-)

Just invented hangnails. Filing for patent tomorrow. Lord is going to be pissed.

Applied for a patent for "proprietary software" today. It's a system of software publishing that features frustrating lead times on problem resolution and angry customers.

Convinced God to rerelease The Universe under the Sun Community Source License.

Very productive day. >:-)