Older blog entries for Ryan (starting at number 75)

Canada sucks.

Full stop. Most specifically, Canada Post sucks. I have here, in my hand, a letter from one of my US financial institutions, postmarked 27 December 2000. It arrived in my mailbox today.

I met the postman as he delivered it. I looked at the postmark and then looked at him.

"Is there something wrong?", he asked. I passed over the letter so he could examine it more closely. He spies the postmark and says, "Oh, yeah. Fairly normal. We're backlogged months with incoming US mail."

"Months? It's been two. You can't be serious.", I exclaim.

"Oh, yeah," he says, "Those folk at the border and at the airport processing just don't give a damn."

"Oh, glad to know. Is it as bad with domestic mail?", I inquire, deciding that this is worth digging for some more info.

"Usually not so bad, but don't trust anything valuable to us. FedEx, Purolator, DHL, or just a bike courier for local stuff," he explains. "Most of the carriers are burnt out and careless. The sorting folks are even worse off."

"Shit!" I think, understanding why half my checks never make it to my landlord.

"Thanks for the letter. It's for taxes and I would have been fucked without. Definitely better late than never." Hell, it's pretty unlikely to be his fault that it took two months to get to me.

This is a drawback of a socialist government, right? The US postal system is the epitomy of efficiency and accuracy, right?

Wrong.

Mail from the same financial institution was returned last week. That mail was sent in November to a drop box IN THE SAME ZIP CODE that eventually forwards to me in Canada in a semi-monthly batch.

What scares me is it seems my employers email relays are just as sketchy. Go infrastructure. Their mail room folks kick ass though. And they can drink like fish too.

Other notes: Congratulations to graydon on his forthcoming marriage.

Look! How I do mock you! Suffering is what you are!

You can't match my voodoo!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Garlic bread!

So. For all the "The Bay area of California is the BEST!" people out there I have but one thing to say:

Taxis and rental cars are not public transportation.

For a "metropolitan census area" that large, I can't believe that the BART and Caltrain are considered to be decent when you have to walk something like 12 blocks between the closest CalTrain and BART stations. And there's no connection to the airport. Yet. It's almost as bad as Dorval in Montreal. And most of the CalTrain stations have little to no transporation in the Pennisula towns to get to your final destination once you leave the train. It's a shambles.

Give me snowshoes any day. Better yet, let me move back to Hong Kong or London.

My open source desktop can beat up your open source desktop!

PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONT!!!!
SEVEN HUNDRED MILLION YEARS AGO you would have been YEAST!

Did you hear me!? YEAST!!!!

If I ever, ever catch you complaining about stock prices again, I won't hesitate to remind you that you had at least a 50/50 chance of being BREAD right now! Pumpernickel possibly.

Humans: Desperately in need of a universal bitch slap.

P.S. I would have been a cupcake. A chocolate cupcake with strawberry frosting and some little white sprinkles. Maybe a candle, too.

P.P.S. Mmmmmmmmm.... sourdough.

[rtilder@littleplasticcastle rtilder]$ host ifyouwantmybodyandyouthinkimsexy.com
Host not found.
[rtilder@littleplasticcastle rtilder]$

We're going to let you know, Rod Stewart!!

I <HEART> kung fu.

Tune in Tokyo!

I hereby proclaim judgement on all you heathen BASTARDS!!!

In the count of insidious crimes against marmotkind: 200 years of back breaking water fowl manacuring!
In the count of infectious giggling in a bad movie: 2 years with an overweight, full body tattooed dwarf surgically attached to your left knee!
In the count of not inciting a food riot in a nunnery: 30 days shaving my back.

That is all. It's all mang's fault. He showed me "The Scoop on Poop".

Go.

 

                      The.

 

                                                                Fuck.

 

                                                                                             Away.

31 Oct 2000 (updated 31 Oct 2000 at 16:00 UTC) »

The air in this place has turned a bit rancid.

I think a few people, not to mention any names lilo, need to get over the fact that sometimes Shit Just Happens At A Company and licking it like a festering rectal sore in public is more than a little disgusting and mightily pathetic. Sadly, I'm guilty of this as well, but I think I might have finally come to my poor excuse for senses.

So please do us all a favour and stop with the exceptionally bitter updates about your former employer. Broadcasting to the world the fact that various people have left is more than a little de classe and announcing that a large number had been "forced to reorganize" is just stupid. You aren't a reporter, you sound like a vindictive thirteen year old girl trying to get back at her mum.

The fact that I, of all people, am telling you that you've acted like an ass and should just shut up should be just the teensiest indicator that you're being a complete git.

Coffee time!

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