(I apologize for the long, non open source related entry. I think you all understand why, though.)

day that will live in infamy

They don't call 'em "terrorists" for nothing. I felt true terror today for the first time in... well, for the first time that I remember. And I'm in Florida, nowhere near New York or Washington, DC.

The moment that stands out in my mind is when I was watching the reports of the damage to the first tower, and saw the second plane hit. My thoughts instantly changed from "what an unfortunate accident" to "holy shit, they're attacking us".

That's when I realized we aren't as invulnerable as we think we are. That's also when I realized nothing would really be the same.

En route to school, I listened to reports on the radio. When I heard that the towers had collapsed, I cried. I admit it.

I had one class today before the school got shut down. In class, I could almost forget the carnage and the panic; they were merely a horrifying work of fiction.

Just before I got to class, a question hit me: what will this do to our economy? I know it sounds cold to be worried about 'mere' dollars when there are people dying, but during the Depression in the 1930s, many people were dying because of a lack of 'mere dollars'.

I fear it could happen again.

Everybody seems to compare this to Pearl Harbor. There is one major difference, though; at Pearl Harbor we knew who our enemies were. Now, even though we think we know who did this, we don't know where he is, or what he's doing.

I mean, if we can put a cruise missle through a keyhole from hundreds of miles away, why can't we find this son of a bitch and bring him to justice?

I've been spending some time reading the Bible again. We don't know; this could be a single, isolated event, or it could be the beginning of the end.

Nuclear war has been my fear since the start of this whole tragedy. They attack us, we attack them, they attack us more, we step up the firepower, then someone pulls out the nukes.

How do you stop someone like this? The terrorist knows he is going to die anyway, so threats of death don't work. I guess I just don't know.

I'm afraid to go to sleep, afraid that if I don't wake up, the people I love won't know it. When I say "I love you" at the end of a phone call, I mean it, but do they know that I mean it, or do they think that I'm just repeating the phrase? Am I just repeating the phrase?

We are at war, with an enemy we cannot see and cannot fight. I'm going to go to bed and pray that my loved ones and I don't become collateral damage.

My prayers are with those who died today, and those who love them.

No witty comment today. Only sadness and fear.