27 Jan 2008 Burgundavia   » (Journeyer)

A short primer for new British Columbia residents

Dudanogueira, I am glad to see you have moved to the proper coast of Canada. As a new West Coaster, there are a few things you should know:

  1. After the Canucks lose (and they will lose), it is acceptable to cheer for the Flames or some other Canadian team, with the exception of the Maple Leafs.
  2. In every conversation with your friends back east, remind them of how we have no snow here.
  3. In the event that the previous is false, do not communicate with any of said aforementioned friends, as all your will hear is laughing.
  4. Persuant to 2 and 3, it is also acceptable to remind aforementioned eastern friends that rain does not need to be shovelled. Right after that April snowstorm is usually an excellent time. They will, after all, have had an entire winter to bond completely with their snow shovels and become one with the pain that is watching the snowplow come by five minutes after you finish shovelling out your driveway.
  5. The universe does not revolve around Toronto. Some of your Toronto friends might forget this and need reminding occasionally.
  6. Ottawa is very far away and satisfaction with the government there is inversely proportional with the distance to said city. However, too much griping about the Federal Government is too Albertan, so avoid excessive amounts of this.
  7. Albertans are rich and are driving up our land values by spending their illgotten gains on big 3rd houses. Focus on the fact that they are running away from Alberta, not that they got rich there (and you aren't), and you will be much happier.
  8. All of the aforementioned advice should taken with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

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