23 Mar 2001 AilleCat   » (Journeyer)

Thoughts on burnout:

So anyway, I've been doing computer stuff for like 8 years, and honestly, I did it for several reasons. I was good at it, 'nuff said. But there was alot more to it. Its where the money was, I was interested in exploring my geek side. I needed money to transition (from male to female)

So the last few months, I no longer feel the drive I have towards computers, Open Source, and anything else having to do with coding/sysadmin/network architecture, all three of which I have done, and enjoyed alot. I'm starting to get this drive to enjoy life outside the office, the home office, and away from the computer. Before I was locked in a relationship with someone who would not let me explore other parts of myself, she reveled in my geekness, as much, or more than I did.

So, its definitely burnout, I mean I have so much to do, I have information on trademarks and copyright that I got from Larry Rosen, to pass onto Listar core, I have the OSTF stuff to think about, I'm still working for OSDN, I'm writing for /. and Open, and I'm feeling so overextended. This is all besides the transgender activism I do, my relationships with several people, and all the kink stuff I do. Trish is a busy girl, and just a little burnt out.

Happier Stuff (and a bit of a bummer):

So Angela and Robin left yesterday evening, it was nice having cuddle partners a few days, and maybe a little more than that...

I *think* the relationship is being slightly redefined, but I'm not sure, so some processing must be done with both of them. But I'm trying to figure out how to breach the subject. Ahhh! I have an idea! How about ,simply, "Where is the new boundary?", the annoying thing about it was, evidently it was redefined for Robin and Angela, and they kept it a secret, like it was supposed to surprise me (which it did, and I'm honored that they love me as much as I love them), and honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about changing the relationship dynamic, kissing fine, outside of that, I'd like to know where this is going, and honestly, I'm happy with whatever, I love them both alot, and want this to be comfortable for all three of us. I mean, it does make it easier to express myself in the ways traditionally I express certain feelings. Ahhh... poly-boundaries are wonderful.

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