So in the interest of not causing waves with *anyone* right now, and trying so hard, because I want to scream it from the rooftops, I am extremely happy over some really honest sharing with a friend (definitely more than a friend to be honest, MUCH more than a friend, though our friendship, we both agree is the most important part, and the core of our relationship)
So how to explain this, my roommate, Zane, who I love dearly once described relationships to me and a couple others in terms of flavors of ice cream, now Zane and I both have this gift for metaphor, which enables us to really communicate well, its neat to have a friend that communicates so similar to me. So back to his ice cream, he was explaining relationship dynamics, especially poly ones, and he said "everyone wants to be `chocolate 'in a poly relationship, but `strawberry' can be just as yummy".
What he meant by this, is that theres a tendency to want to be primary, and that being secondary is not where most people want to be. And my response was "I want to be strawberry, dammit", mostly out of the fact that I had just gotten out of a relationship where I was `vanilla' (he didn't mention this, but to me that particular flavor is monogamy, which is definitely *not* me), and I was not particularly into committing myself as chocolate, unless it was one certain person, which due to certain circumstances, was not happening at the time, and to be honest, with this person, strawberry was "ok", because I valued our friendship so deeply.
Well through alot of talking this week, I think (no I'm pretty damn sure) that "I want to be chocolate, dammit" and not strawberry, as if that was ever in question. So I tell my roommate this, and he says "You *are* chocolate loser" and then he says "strawberry covered chocolate", and I think "yum, just the way I like it"