23 Mar 2001 (updated 23 Mar 2001 at 12:44 UTC)
»
Thoughts on burnout:
So anyway, I've been doing computer stuff for like 8
years, and honestly, I did it for several reasons. I was
good at it, 'nuff said. But there was alot more to it. Its
where the money was, I was interested in exploring my geek
side. I needed money to transition (from male to female)
So the last few months, I no longer feel the drive I
have towards computers, Open Source, and anything else
having to do with coding/sysadmin/network architecture, all
three of which I have done, and enjoyed alot. I'm starting
to get this drive to enjoy life outside the office, the home
office, and away from the computer. Before I was locked in a
relationship with someone who would not let me explore other
parts of myself, she reveled in my geekness, as much, or
more than I did.
So, its definitely burnout, I mean I have so much to do,
I have information on trademarks and copyright that I got
from Larry Rosen, to pass onto Listar core, I have the OSTF
stuff to think about, I'm still working for OSDN, I'm
writing for /. and Open, and I'm feeling so
overextended. This is all besides the transgender activism I
do, my relationships with several people, and all the kink
stuff I do. Trish is a busy girl, and just a little burnt
out.
Happier Stuff (and a bit of a bummer):
So Angela and Robin left yesterday evening, it was nice
having cuddle partners a few days, and maybe a little more
than that...
I *think* the relationship is being slightly redefined,
but I'm not sure, so some processing must be done with both
of them. But I'm trying to figure out how to breach the
subject. Ahhh! I have an idea! How about ,simply, "Where is
the new boundary?", the annoying thing about it was,
evidently it was redefined for Robin and Angela, and they
kept it a secret, like it was supposed to surprise me (which
it did, and I'm honored that they love me as much as I love
them), and honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about changing
the relationship dynamic, kissing fine, outside of that, I'd
like to know where this is going, and honestly, I'm happy
with whatever, I love them both alot, and want this to be
comfortable for all three of us. I mean, it does make it
easier to express myself in the ways traditionally I express
certain feelings. Ahhh... poly-boundaries are
wonderful.